Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
The most researched couples model in the world. EFT locates the emotional pattern beneath the surface argument, and slowly rewrites it. Especially strong for recurring conflict and disconnection.
Couples therapy
A room in which both of you can be heard.
Couples work is not about deciding who is right. It is about slowing a conversation down enough that both people can, for the first time in a long while, actually be understood by the other.
Two adults who still want the relationship, or want clarity about it.
You have been talking in circles, and want a different kind of conversation.
Something has happened — an affair, a betrayal, a loss — and you do not know how to be with each other again.
You are cross-cultural, and the small things have started to accumulate.
You are considering separation and want to make the decision carefully, not reactively.
You are in a good relationship that has grown quiet, and you would like it back.
You are pre-marital and would rather have the difficult conversations now than later.
The recurring themes.
Communication that has become defensive, rehearsed, or exhausted.
Rebuilding after infidelity, deception, or a broken agreement.
The transition into parenthood, and its quiet effect on partnership.
Cross-cultural expectations around family, money, and roles.
Sexual and physical intimacy that has thinned over time.
Recurrent arguments about the same three things.
Decisions about relocation, career, or having children.
The question of whether to stay together at all, held with care.
Structured, respectful, evidence-based.
Couples work is different from individual work. It is more structured, more active, and requires the therapist to protect both people equally. My approach draws on three of the most evidenced couples methods, blended to your situation.
The Gottman Method
Practical, skills-based, and grounded in four decades of research on what actually predicts a lasting relationship. Useful when specific behaviours — criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling — need to change.
Discernment counselling
A short, focused form of couples work for partners who are not sure whether to stay. Not everyone in this room wants the same thing; discernment counselling holds that honestly.
Realistic outcomes, honestly named.
A conversation that no longer ends the way it always ends.
A shared language for the pattern between you, rather than a shared enemy.
The ability to disagree without one of you leaving the room, literally or emotionally.
Repaired trust, where trust has been broken, when both of you commit to the work.
A more truthful sense of whether to continue — and, if not, a kinder way of ending.
Practical agreements about the specific issues that keep returning.
Questions couples ask first.
How long is a couples session?
Seventy-five minutes. Fifty is not enough time to slow a difficult conversation down, and ninety leaves both people exhausted. Most couples come fortnightly for the first phase of work.
What if my partner is unsure about coming?
That is common and worth talking through. I offer an initial call with the more hesitant partner alone if that helps. Couples work only proceeds when both people can consent to being in the room.
Do you take sides?
No. My role is to protect both people equally and to make it safe enough that the harder truths can be said out loud. I will name patterns I see, but I will not decide the relationship for you.
Can one of us also see you individually?
Generally, no. Seeing one partner individually alongside couples work risks the trust of the other. When individual work is needed, I refer to a trusted colleague and remain the couple's therapist.
Does couples therapy work if we have already decided to separate?
It can — separation is a form of transition, and doing it well matters, especially where children or shared lives are involved. Discernment counselling is designed precisely for this uncertainty.
Are sessions available in Thai?
Yes. Sessions run fully in English or fully in Thai, or in a bilingual format when the two of you use different primary languages.
When you are ready
A short call, together or separately.
Fifteen minutes, at no cost. You can call together, or one of you can call first. We will decide whether couples work with me is the right fit.